Rethink! 6 things to rethink about ministering to homosexuals
Let’s get our terms together
1.
Discern the difference between
homosexual orientation and homosexual lifestyle.
·
One
is a broken disposition toward sin. The other embraces that disposition. Remember
at the fall of man sin entered in and brought brokenness and the Curse. As a
result, death, disease, disasters and disorders came in.
·
One
is a temptation, one is sin.
from A Church
Statement on Human Sexuality: Homosexuality and Same-Sex “Marriage” A Resource
for EFCA Churches
o
“We must carefully distinguish between same-sex attraction, sinful
lust, self-selected identification, and sexual behavior. It is not a sin to be
tempted in the area of same gender sex. Jesus himself was tempted, yet without
sin (Heb. 4:15). He sympathizes with our weaknesses, and he promises to provide
a way of escape in every temptation (1 Cor. 10:13).”
from 10 myths about homosexuality Peter Spriggs
o
“Sexual
orientation” is actually an umbrella term for three quite different phenomena—a
person’s sexual attractions or desires; a person’s sexual behavior; and a
person’s self-identification, either publicly or internally (as “gay,” lesbian,
“straight,” etc.)”
o “This understanding sheds new light on the question
of whether “homosexuality is a choice.” Homosexual attractions are clearly not
a “choice” in the vast majority of cases. However, it would actually be
insulting to people with same-sex attractions to suggest that they are
compelled to act on those attractions. Homosexual conduct (if it is
consensual) clearly is a choice—as is self-identifying as “gay” or
“lesbian.” One’s self-identification can be changed at will, as can one’s
sexual behavior.”
2.
Discern the difference between a
person who is a Christian believer who practices homosexuality and an
unbeliever who practices homosexuality.
·
One
is saying they are a Christian and align themselves with Christ, his word and
his cause. They say they have Jesus. As a Christian, they say they are dead to
their sin.
·
The
other is agnostic or atheist and live in rebellion to God. They need Jesus. As unbelievers they are dead
in their sin
3.
Discern the difference between a believer
who embraces homosexuality and one who struggles with homosexuality.
·
Both
have SSA. One is promiscuous. The other is celibate.
·
One
is a regular Christian struggling daily with temptation, like all Christian,
not perfect but becoming perfected by grace.
·
The
other is living a lifestyle of sinfulness and is as it says in Romans “Though they know God's righteous
decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do
them but give approval to those who practice them.”( 1:32)
·
4. An unbeliever who practices homosexuality is to be evangelized.
·
You’ll
need to know what you will allow or not with that friendship evangelism.
·
As
with all unbelievers we go after the spiritual condition before the moral
condition.
·
God
is at work… “ the sinful state of a person does not stop God from loving him or
cause him to love the person any less.”
Rom 5:8 “While we were still sinners…”
·
Guard
against constructing your wall of self righteousness, pride, hate or unloving
spirit.
·
EFCA- “We Christians who
attempt to follow biblical mandates on sex and marriage are not immune to
expressing our own sexuality in sinful ways, for "all have sinned and fall
short of God’s glory" (Rom. 3:23). We must always be mindful of this and
humbly relate to others accepting that we all are fallen creatures.
At the same time, all human beings
deserve to be treated with dignity and respect because each of us bears the
image of God. An LGBT3 person
deserves this dignity and respect no less than any other, and we, as
Christians, should demonstrate this in our thoughts, speech, and behavior.
Speech, including humor, which demeans LGBT people, has no place in the
Christian community. Likewise, this means we oppose any mistreatment of those
who identify as LGBT”
5.
A believer who practices
homosexuality is to be warned and called to repentance
·
Any
promiscuous sexual conduct would be graciously confronted by the Church
leadership.
·
What
complicates this? Remember: Sin
complicates things. (put that on your refrigerator!!) Those who have flagrant,
unrepentant, contaminating may eventually be put in church discipline.
§
“When a sinner is repentant, the Elders should
protect that sinner from the Church. When a sinner
is defiant, the Elders should protect the Church from that sinner.”
[1]
·
Family and Church disciplne? the door of connectedness is much wider for
the unbeliever than if he is a confessed believer.
o
This is hard to prescribe across the board: for sure at least casual hangouts are no
longer an option. Formal dinners, initiating (if its family)… it depends on
relationship dynamic.
o
6.
A believer who chooses to not practice
homosexuality is to welcomed and counseled biblically
o
EFCA: “At the same time, all human beings deserve to be treated with
dignity and respect because each of us bears the image of God. An LGBT3 person deserves
this dignity and respect no less than any other, and we, as Christians, should
demonstrate this in our thoughts, speech, and behavior. Speech, including
humor, which demeans LGBT people, has no place in the Christian community. Likewise,
this means we oppose any mistreatment of those who identify as LGBT”
o
We mourn with those who struggle with same sex attractions, and with their
families, but as we grieve, we encourage behavior that follows the clear divine
teachings of Scripture.
o
We in the Church must seek ways to minister to and support those among
us who struggle with same-sex attractions, and those who have family members or
others close to them who identify as LGBT
o
We in the Church must seek ways to reach out in love to those in our
society who identify as LGBT
o
Christian
churches should reach out in love and truth to minister to people touched by
homosexuality, and that those who contend Biblically against their own sexual
temptation should be patiently assisted in their battle, not ostracized or
disdained.
The Church and Homosexuality: Ten Commitments
If the many complexities involving the church and homosexuality, one of the
most difficult is how the former should speak of the latter. Even for those
Christians who agree that homosexuality is contrary to the will of God there is
little agreement on how we ought to speak about homosexuality being contrary to
the will of God. Much of this disagreement is owing to the fact that there
are many different constituencies we have in mind when broaching the subject.
There are various groups that may be listening when we speak about
homosexuality, and the group we think we are addressing usually dictates how we
speak.
- If we are speaking to cultural elites who despise us and our beliefs, we want to be bold and courageous.
- If we are speaking to strugglers who fight against same sex attraction, we want to be patient and sympathetic.
- If we are speaking to sufferers who have been mistreated by the church, we want to be apologetic and humble.
- If we are speaking to shaky Christians who seem ready to compromise the faith for society’s approval, we want to be persuasive and persistent.
- If we are speaking to liberal Christians who have deviated from the truth once delivered for the saints, we want to be serious and hortatory.
- If we are speaking to gays and lesbians who live as the Scriptures would not have them live, we want to be winsome and straightforward.
- If we are speaking to belligerent Christians who hate or fear homosexuals, we want to be upset and disappointed.
So how ought we to speak about homosexuality? Should we be defiant and
defensive or gentle and entreating? Yes and yes. It depends on who is
listening. All seven scenarios above are real and not uncommon. And while some
Christians may be called to speak to one group in particular, we must keep in
mind that in this technological day and age anyone from any group may be
listening in. This means that we will often be misunderstood. It also means we
should make some broad basic commitments to each other and to our friends and
foes in speaking about homosexuality.
Here are ten commitments I hope Christians and churches will consider making
in their heads and hearts, before God and before a watching world.
1. We will preach through the Bible
consecutively and expositionally that we might teach the whole counsel of God
(even the unpopular parts) and to avoid riding hobby horses (even popular
ones).
2. We will tell the truth about all
sins, including homosexuality, but especially the sins most prevalent in our
communities.
3. We will guard the truth of God’s word, protect God’s people from error,
and confront the world when it tries to press us into its mold.
4. We will call all people to faith in Christ as the only way to the Father
and the only way to have eternal life.
5. We will tell all people about the
good news of the gospel, that Jesus died in our place and rose again so that we
might be set free from the curse of the law and be saved from the wrath of God.
6. We will treat all Christians as new creations in Christ, reminding each
other that our true identity is not based on sexuality or self-expression but
on our union with Christ.
7. We will extend God’s forgiveness to all those who come in brokenhearted
repentance, everyone from homosexual sinners to heterosexual sinners, from the
proud to the greedy, from the people pleaser to the self-righteous.
8. We will ask for forgiveness when
we are rude, thoughtless, or joke inappropriately about homosexuals.
9. We will strive to be a community
that welcomes all those who hate their sin and struggle against it, even when
that struggle involves failures and setbacks.
10. We will seek to love all in our midst, regardless of their
particular vices or virtues, by preaching the Bible, recognizing evidences of
God’s grace, pointing out behaviors that dishonor the Lord, taking church
membership seriously, exercising church discipline, announcing the free offer
of the gospel, striving for holiness together, and exulting in Christ above all
things.
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